The Switch Off Struggle

01 July 2026

Programme Leader for Family Work - Judah is a BACP registered counsellor, and Parent-training Mentor, who joined Place2Be in 2021. He has over 7 years experience delivering counselling and therapeutic services for adults and children. Judah has been supporting parents and carers, delivering parent training and supervising parenting practitioners within local authorities and the NHS for over 17 years.

In my work with children and families, a theme is emerging more within discussions about the daily challenges of parenting. The stories I hear often involve children becoming aggressive — sometimes even violent — towards their parents, many times when they are asked to disconnect from an electronic device. I also recently read an interesting article discussing current research on the link between screen time and increased emotional difficulties in children.

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When I first began hearing these stories, I was surprised. But they also made me reflect on my own experiences with my three boys. I’ve certainly noticed a strong pull toward their use of screens, and I’ve dealt with plenty of eye rolls, grumbles, and some feisty attitude when I ask them to switch off a device. But I’ve never seen aggression or violence in response to this, and that made me think more deeply about the issue.

There’s no doubt that raising children today is challenging. Children can be unpredictable at times, especially when it comes to emotions. One moment they may be calm, and the next they may erupt into grunts, groans, or tears with no obvious trigger. The reasons for this are varied. They are growing up in a fast‑moving digital age filled with social media comparison, addictive gaming loops, and constant stimulation. They face academic expectations, social pressures, and the emotional weight of world events they don’t fully understand.

On top of this, what they see online — unrealistic lifestyles, conflict, negativity, or even harmful content — can shape how they regulate their emotions.

“Their brains are still developing, and the intensity of the online world can overwhelm them long before they have the skills to manage it.”

So, I asked myself why haven’t I seen more than an occasional display of frustration or emotional outburst around screen time with my boys that seems to be the emerging theme across UK households? One possibility is the idea of establishing digital boundaries. Something that we have found challenging to do consistently, but I believe this helps teach children not just when to switch off, but how to cope with the emotions that come with stopping something they find so stimulating and enjoyable. Is it possible that these switch off moments also create opportunities to help them understand what they’re feeling and how to build the emotional strength to cope when things don’t go their way — something I would call frustration tolerance?

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I also wonder about the role of normalising feelings — even the difficult ones — and making it clear that talking about emotions is not only allowed but healthy. This can be by saying something like “I can see why you’re frustrated. It’s hard to switch off when you’re in the middle of something you’re enjoying”. This is very different from when I was growing up, when expressing anything uncomfortable wasn’t the norm. With my boys, overwhelm, irritation, or frustration hasn’t been discouraged; we’ve simply tried to acknowledge that their feelings make sense. I must stress that I don’t always respond like a parenting textbook — but on the occasions I do manage a more helpful response, I can see how much it helps them feel understood rather than dismissed.

Is it possible, then, that early screen‑time boundaries and a focus on expressing emotions can reduce the likelihood of aggression or violence when the Xbox or PlayStation needs to be switched off?

I cannot say one hundred percent yes to this. But, I believe it might help, and maybe it can be part of a ‘tool kit’ that we need, especially in this digital age as parents to create calmer homes — and hopefully less of a daily ‘switch off struggle’ with our children.